How to choose a Wedding Officiant in San Francisco

Written By Ebbony Tonkin

Choosing your wedding officiant might not sound like the most glamorous part of wedding planning, but it’s one of the most important.

Your officiant sets the tone for your entire ceremony. They guide the moment, tell your story, and help turn a legal requirement into something meaningful, memorable, and very you. So how do you choose the right one in a city like San Francisco, where the options are endless?

Here’s a clear, no-stress guide to help you choose with confidence.

1. Start with the style you don’t want

Before you scroll endlessly through profiles, get honest about what you want to avoid.

Ask yourselves:

  • Do we want non-religious or secular?

  • Are we after something warm and relaxed, not formal or preachy?

  • Do we want humour that feels natural, not a stand-up routine?

Knowing your “hard no’s” immediately narrows the field and saves hours of decision fatigue.

2. Experience matters …especially in San Francisco

San Francisco weddings come with their own quirks, especially if you’re marrying at San Francisco City Hall.

An experienced officiant will:

  • Know the best ceremony locations inside City Hall

  • Understand timing, crowd flow, and photo logistics

  • Guide you through marriage licence requirements without stress

This is one area where experience truly pays off.

3. Decide: pre-written or bespoke?

Not all ceremonies are created the same — and that’s a good thing.

Pre-written ceremonies are ideal if you want:

  • Something short, sweet, and simple

  • A focus on the legalities

  • A clean, elegant script with minimal fuss

Bespoke ceremonies are perfect if you want:

  • Your story woven into the ceremony

  • Personal moments, humour, and heart

  • A ceremony that feels completely one-of-a-kind

There’s no “better” option, just the one that suits you.

4. Chemistry is not optional

This is a human moment. Your officiant shouldn’t feel like a stranger reading a script.

Pay attention to:

  • How quickly and clearly they communicate

  • Whether their tone feels calming and reassuring

  • If you feel seen and understood from the first interaction

If the emails already feel warm and easy, that energy will show up on the day.

5. Look for clarity, not confusion

The best officiants make things feel simple.

You should clearly understand:

  • What’s included in their packages

  • How the process works

  • What they need from you (and when)

If you feel calmer after reading their website, you’re on the right track.

6. Ask the questions that actually matter

A few smart questions go a long way:

  • How do you personalise a ceremony?

  • Do you help with vows?

  • How do you guide us through the legal side?

  • What’s your experience with our venue or location?

The answers will tell you everything you need to know.

Final thought

Your wedding ceremony doesn’t need to be long, complicated, or dramatic to be meaningful. It just needs to feel true to you.

The right officiant will guide the process, calm nerves, and help create a moment that feels effortless, even when a lot is happening behind the scenes.

If you’re planning a San Francisco City Hall or Bay Area wedding and are looking for a modern, non-religious ceremony that feels warm, genuine, and relaxed, I’d love to help.

You’ve got the love. I’ve got the words.

Ebbony Tonkin